A little mindless joy in the wraps.....

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: I have a big cookie tin of sequins...all colors and shapes, and when I : wrap up someone's henna, with TP, clingwrap and tape, I've started : sticking a pinch of silly sparkly sequins in the last round of tape as : I finish off the wrap. Now the wraps glitter with flamingoes, : holographic dolphins, stars, suns, all sorts of silly shiny stuff. : Then I hand people the "why are you all wrapped up like a burn victim" : rant sheet. The sparklies really seem to help people cope with the : wrap! You can get dragonflies, butterflies, holographic stars...all : sorts of mad and silly confetti sequins at party stores, and big sacks : of them cheapo at Jo-Ann Fabric stores. I know this sounds very : silly, but all the glitter and the excuse sheet seem to really help : people keep the wrap on their henna longer, and that makes their henna : look better! : One more time with the excuse sheet, for : "When people ask you why you are wrapped up like Frankenstein's Bride : ...answer: (pick one) : 1) Aliens abducted me because they realized I was the most : intelligent, most perfect, most beautiful woman in the galaxy, and : they needed some skin samples so they could clone me and create a : master race to take over the universe. Mess with me about this wrap, : and I'll call in my warrior goddess clones to enlighten you. : 2) Fire breathing belch-dragons attacked from the depths of Lake Erie, : where they have been spawning on petrochemical sludge since about : 1942. Because I am secretly Super Woman, I had to quickly dash in to : save the city by stopping their poisonous fire-belches with my bare : hands before they consumed Cleveland. It stung a bit, but I saved the : city....when the bandages come off you'll see their mystical, magical : fire-scar. : 3)A Y2K virus infected my hand. It could be lethal. Don't touch me. : 4) Slavering squid-beings from Andromeda slimed me in a battle to save : the universe, and these bandages are healing the wounds from the : radioactive jellyfish bombs they hurled at me. I'm generalissima of : the celestial bitch-goddess freedom-fighters, and I lead the final : charge to victory. What..you missed the coverage on CNN? Where have : you been? : 5) That's where the CIA just implanted my new cyborg chips. When the : wraps come off tomorrow, I'll be hyper-intelligent and invincible. : Try not to annoy me. : 6) These wraps are healing over the flash marks from a sort of : hypersex known only to us devotees of the anti-Mathmos.......didn't : you watch "Barbarella"? You don't know what you're missing! : 7) I work for a government agency, with a very high level of security. : Disclosure is prohibited. I can neither confirm nor deny the : existence of this plastic wrap. : 8) This bandage is covering an outbreak of rare paisley scrofula. It : is a highly contagious, but entirely harmless disease that leaves : beautiful patterns all over your skin that go away in a few weeks. : 9) I was savaged by ferocious henna-gerbils. They've nibbled gorgeous : patterns all over my skin, but they have to be wrapped until they're : healed up a bit. : 10) I have a severe, but very artistic, nail-biting habit. I've : nibbled little frilly patterns clear down to my wrist. You can see : them tomorrow!" : I wouldn't post this a second time, but it's been a great success for : encourging people to keep the damn henna in place and sweatty long : enough for it to look good! : Thanks to Forum people who helped this along with their wit and : elegance! Who wants to make this list go to 20 smart-ass excuses?

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